Ian Thomas Malone

Monthly Archive: March 2026

Tuesday

31

March 2026

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The Easter Bunny Is Comin’ to Town

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We are back in the Rankin/Bass cinematic universe for their only stop-motion Easter special. A loose sequel to Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, the Easter version is pretty much running on fumes right from the start.

Did you ever wonder why we eat jelly beans and wear nice clothes for Easter? Have you ever stopped to appreciate a hard-boiled egg? If so, you might want to check out this complete mess of a holiday narrative.

Ian’s newsletter, covering politics and LGBTQ issues: https://ianthomasmalone.substack.com/

Friday

27

March 2026

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‘Pizza Movie’ review: an eager casts buoys this messy, endearing college stoner film

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The buddy stoner movie is a timeless genre. It’s hard to look back on your college days without a tinge of nostalgia for the days when acquiring pizza was the most complex issue at hand. Directors Brian McElhaney and Nick Kocher turned to the absurd for their take on well-trodden territory, swapping the now-legal marijuana out for something trippier.

Jack (Gaten Matarazzo) and Montgomery (Sean Giambrone) are college roommates and close friends. Jack earned the ire of his university by getting the school football program cancelled, now subject to numerous bullies who pin him down and fart in his face on a regular basis. Both on the nerdier side, Jack and Montgomery harbor resentment toward Lizzy (Lulu Wilson) for abandoning them in favor of the cool kids group.

After the bullies destroy their alcohol, Jack and Montgomery take an illicit substance called “M.I.N.T.S.” which produces a highly specific type of hallucinogenic high that’s essentially just a bad trip. The only counterbalance to the drugs is pizza, which Montgomery orders by delivery drone. Their efforts to acquire the pizza are thrown into disarray by Blake (Jack Martin), an obnoxious R.A. who puts the building on near lockdown after catching a student with weed.

McElhaney and Kocher move to the beat of their own drum. Pizza Movie is an absurd trip that soars above its many narrative shortcomings, bolstered by outlandish humor and the stellar chemistry between Matarazzo and Giambrone. The dialogue is strong and works well with two leads who clearly showed up to play. McElhaney and Kocher know how to get a laugh, even sometimes from jokes that don’t quite work.

None of these characters are particularly complex people. The script makes the function of M.I.N.T.S. needlessly complex, introducing stages of the drug that makes the movie feel too formulaic at times. The second act almost sinks the entire experience, letting a lot of the air out of the room after a strong start.

In many ways, Pizza Movie feels like a high school movie forced to masquerade as a college narrative. It’s not clear what year Jack and Montgomery are supposed to be in. Much of the social politics, particularly the bullying, feels out of place in a college setting.

The film doesn’t dedicate enough time to character development to pack much of an emotional punch, but there’s still a lot to enjoy in watching Matarazzo, Giambrone, and Wilson work, three kids desperate to let their freak flags fly in a world that demands conformity. The jokes rely a bit too much on gross-out humor. McElhaney and Kocher do themselves no favors with some cheap meta jokes late in the third act, a script in desperate need of revision.

Pizza Movie is kind of a mess, the sort of film that requires you not to think too hard about the plot mechanics. McElhaney and Kocher are fantastic technical directors, but leave a lot to be desired as storytellers. The film isn’t likely to go down as a college classic, but this trip is a fun way to spend the evening.

Monday

23

March 2026

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‘Project Hail Mary’ review: a bland, entertaining science fiction narrative

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The past ten years have provided a lot of perspectives on the question of extraterrestrial life. If there were aliens out there, would they really want to come to America? Could they really be any worse than humanity ourselves? The film Project Hail Mary finds some unique perspectives on the subject amidst a narrative that’s rather familiar.

Dr. Ryland Grace (Ryan Gosling) awakes from deep sleep on a spacecraft, quickly learning that he’s the only survivor of the three-person crew. Grace figures out that he’s on a one-way mission to a distant star to prevent microorganisms from eating the sun. As the Hail Mary approaches its destination, Grace encounters an alien spacecraft piloted by a five-legged alien who resembles a pile of rocks.

Dubbing his new friend Rocky, Grace bonds with the alien as they figure out how to stop the organism and save their respective planets. Grace develops a system of communication with Rocky based on echolocation. Periodic flashbacks to Grace’s time on Earth reveal some of the particulars of the mission, organized by Eva Stratt (Sandra Hüller).

Based on the 2021 novel by Andy Weir, directors Christopher Miller and Phil Lord seem to be attempting to recapture the cinematic magic of another adaptation of Weir’s work, The Martian. The duo even enlisted Martian screenwriter Drew Goddard for their first effort in the director’s chair since 2014’s 22 Jump Street. Godard’s screenplay evokes plenty of the humor from The Martian, not always to the film’s benefit.

Gosling puts in great work in the lead role. Grace is sweet, funny, and easy to root for. Like the Hail Mary ship itself, sometimes it feels like Gosling could be operating on autopilot, a broader problem as the narrative hums along.

There’s an innate sense of sadness to Grace’s life that Lord and Miller refuse to allow Gosling to work with, limiting the impact of their competent but forgettable work. Project Hail Mary is a beautiful film to watch. The special effects are great, and the physical set of the ship is well-made. It’s hard to shake the idea there’s something missing here.

Project Hail Mary suffers from an intense lack of suspense. There are predictable hiccups along the way, but the film doesn’t know how to get its audience to buy into its drama. The 156-minute runtime is excessively bloated for a feature that really doesn’t have anything original to say.

Miller and Lord never seem to care that Grace is essentially a one-dimensional character. The flashbacks hint at something more substantive that never really arrives. There are some interesting strands related to the nature of memory that aren’t explored in any meaningful way. Gosling gets a few moments to show off his signature charm, but not many, a peculiar dynamic across a film where he’s often the only human character.

Mankind made it to space because of ambition. Project Hail Mary has no ambition, a film simply content to go through the motions of what people expect from a science fiction narrative. Lord and Miller, along with Gosling, are consummate professionals. The fact that they have nothing interesting to say somehow doesn’t completely sink their work, a fairly impressive feat of its own.

Project Hail Mary is an underwhelming exercise in competent filmmaking. Science fiction at its best tends to evoke a feeling of awe and wonder. It’s hard to be blown away by anything on the screen when the narrative doesn’t offer much besides memories of earlier, better work.

While at least twenty minutes too long, there is some fun to be had watching Grace and Rocky exchange their thoroughly unoriginal banter. Project Hail Mary could have been something great. It doesn’t appear that anyone involved with the film cared about such a lofty goal. The end result is an entertaining time at that theater, but nothing worth saving humanity over.

Thursday

12

March 2026

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The 2026 Oscar Nominees for Best Picture, Ranked

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2025 was a peculiar year for filmmaking. This is probably the weakest field of contenders in the post-pandemic years. The top half of the list features some exceptional movies, but it’s definitely not a year where practically any film could win.

I went back and forth on my prediction for Best Picture several times over the past few weeks, but I always returned to the conventional pick. Sinners is an outstanding film and would be a worthy winner. This year is a rare year where my favorite is also favored to win.

For a while, I thought this was a three-picture race between Sinners, One Battle After Another, and Hamnet, the latter serving as a more conventional pick opposite a genre film and one based on a Thomas Pynchon novel.

But I think this field shares a lot in common with the 2023 nominees. Everything Everywhere All at Once was heavily favored while also being a genre film and a box office hit, without a clear contender at the front of the pack. I don’t think OBAA made enough of a mark to steal Sinners’ thunder.

Here is my list, ranked by my own personal preference, not by likelihood of victory.

1. Sinners A horror film has not won Best Picture since The Silence of the Lambs, the year I was born. Ryan Coogler’s work is exceptional, an inviting sense of world-building that feels genuinely lived-in. Michael B. Jordan has never been better, and longtime underrated actor Delroy Lindo is finally earning recognition for his delightful performance. Horror is a well-trodden genre. Many have drawn comparisons between Sinners and From Dusk Till Dawn, which perhaps makes it even more impressive that Coogler managed to bring such an impressive perspective to the table.

2. The Secret Agent – Wagner Moura would probably be my pick for Best Actor if I had a vote. The Secret Agent is a delightful period piece about the political turmoil of the military dictatorship in Brazil. Director Kleber Mendonça Filho plays around with the nature of memory a lot, constantly defying audience expectations throughout the narrative. The film takes some big swings that don’t all land, but it’s a highly ambitious work that shouldn’t be missed.

Ian’s full review of The Secret Agent.

3. Marty Supreme Putting aside Chalamet’s obnoxious comments on ballet and opera (that went viral after Oscar voting closed, mitigating the damage), Marty Supreme is really, really good. Director Josh Safdie did a wonderful job in his first solo effort without his brother Benny since 2008. Chalamet is mesmerizing as a complete sleaze, which may not have taken that much acting. The tension in the pacing never lets up, an exhausting ride that still flies through a hearty runtime. The biggest knock against the film is that it did not surpass the highs of Safdie’s last film, Uncut Gems, while revisiting many of the same devices.

Ian’s full review of Marty Supreme.

4. One Battle After Another As a huge fan of Paul Thomas Anderson and Thomas Pynchon, OBAA felt kind of like a fever dream of everything I wanted in a movie. Its imposing 162-minute runtime absolutely flies by. It’s pretty laughable that Teyana Taylor wasn’t nominated for Best Actress, the heart and soul of a movie starring juggernauts like Leonardo DiCaprio and Sean Penn. DiCaprio puts forth his most interesting effort in years in what’s largely a supporting role. I really liked OBAA, and wouldn’t be upset if it won Best Picture. Like Marty Supreme, it loses a few points for not coming close to PTA’s best work, particularly There Will Be Blood, Magnolia, and The Master.

Ian’s full review of One Battle After Another.

5. Sentimental ValueRenate Reinsve first blew me away with 2022’s The World Person in the World. She puts forth excellent work here opposite Stellan Skarsgård, in one of the best performances of his career, in an intimate narrative about the remnants of a family long splintered. While mostly in Norwegian, Elle Fanning has a superb supporting role as an actress hoping to play Reinsve’s character in a film directed by her father. Director Joachim Trier makes a pretty outstanding case for why artists often make shitty parents. As an avid fan of foreign film, I was delighted to see Sentimental Value nominated, something I wish the Academy would do more of instead of giving nominations to lackluster releases by perennial contenders. Sentimental Value also gets bonus points for featuring the song “Same Old Scene” by Roxy Music, off a lackluster album I’d been playing heavily before watching the film, which was quite a bizarre coincidence.

6. Hamnet I was pretty shocked not to see Hamnet in the Best Cinematography category, especially over Frankenstein. Director Chloé Zhao’s meditation on grief is less about William Shakespeare, than Anne Hathaway, with a fantastic lead performance by Jessie Buckley. Hamnet delivers some truly compelling perspectives on the creative process that you don’t see much in the countless Hollywood narratives centered on writers. There’s a lot to admire in the way Zhao moves through her work, but much of the pieces of Hamnet work better than the collective final product.

7. Train Dreams Director Cliff Bentley heavily channels Terence Malick in the BP race’s other major commentary on grief. Joel Edgerton is exquisite as a laborer frequently away from his family in the late 1800s, a narrative that spans 80 years. It’s a tragic film that doesn’t wallow in its grief, but finds a lot of beauty in the quiet moments of life. Bentley’s gentle pacing that constantly evokes Malick is severely undercut by its heavy-handed narration. Another pass at the script might have made Train Dreams a serious contender amidst a fairly open year.

8. Bugonia Yorgos Lanthimos is a polarizing director who has created a lot of thought-provoking original work. The Favourite and The Lobster are two of my favorites of the twenty-first century, but I was not a big fan of his last BP nominee, Poor Things, which I thought meandered a bit too much. Bugonia had a leaner runtime, and wonderful performances from Emma Stone and Jesse Plemons, but the narrative doesn’t have a lot of meat on its bone. Bugonia peters out long before its third act, which itself has some glaring issues.

9. Frankenstein – Guillermo del Toro’s long-awaited passion project just didn’t do it for me. The special effects were lackluster. Del Toro captured Shelley’s aesthetic, but I didn’t feel her voice, particularly when the narrative shifted toward The Creature. Oscar Isaac, Jacob Elordi, and Mia Goth all put forth solid work here, but this was a rare miss from del Toro, an adaptation of a well-known book that doesn’t do much to justify its existence or its bloated 150-minute runtime.

10. F1 –  The Oscars have generally tried to have at least one blockbuster in the mix for Best Picture. This year has two legitimate box office hits, which bookend this list. F1 is a very entertaining remake of Top Gun: Maverick, which was once itself the token crowd-pleaser in the BP category. Brad Pitt delivered a compelling performance, even if you put aside the absurdity of a sixty-year-old professional race car driver. It was a lot of fun to see on the big screen, but I don’t think it has any business being in this race.