Ian Thomas Malone

A Connecticut Yogi in King Joffrey's Court

coffee Archive

Saturday

27

December 2014

2

COMMENTS

The Case of the Cutter at Dunkin Donuts

Written by , Posted in Blog, Social Issues

While much of Curb Your Enthusiasm’s humor is derived from the predicaments that Larry David gets himself into as a result of his inability to keep quiet when in the presence of a faux pas, we should take note that the world needs more people like him. Too often, we find the internet to be a dumping ground for instances where a person was wronged yet took to social media when the battle should have been waged in reality. Never being much of a hash tag activist myself, I decided to live the Larry David mantra and engage a man who wronged me at Dunkin Donuts.

The incident occurred at the Old Greenwich Dunkin Donuts, my personal favorite franchise of the popular Northeastern chain. I was second in line to a woman, who had finished her order and paid for it. The employee made the coffee and handed it to the woman, signifying a completed transaction to most who understand how businesses operate. Unfortunately for me, someone thought otherwise.

A man walked into the Dunkin Donuts and proceeded to the front of the counter. Being a regular at the establishment, the employee shot me a confused glance as I starred at the man, disdainful at the thought that this man had clearly not paid attention in kindergarten on the day that the concept of lines was explained. Before the employee could explain the breach of etiquette, the man said, “I’m with her,” pointing at the woman, who was presumably married to this rude piece of existence.

He proceeded to order a bacon, egg, and cheese. Patrons of Dunks know that these sandwiches are not only gross; they slow down the line especially when only one person is behind the counter. This being around noon and Old Greenwich not being a peak location at all hours of the day, this sandwich meant that it was going to be another couple of minutes before yours truly could get his large iced dark roast with a splash of milk and one sugar.

The problem was, being “with her” no longer signified anything for this man. The woman had her coffee and had already paid for it. This was a separate transaction. Sharing a bed with the woman who had just ordered does not represent a sense of ownership over all future orders at a business. But this man was either not aware of this or did not care. Perhaps a mixture of both?

Now I found myself in a predicament of my own. The employee had clearly demonstrated that she too, felt this man was demonstrating an abuse of power over his wife’s limited domain. But she’s a coffee shop employee. Not Pontius Pilate. This was my battle.

The man was pacing around Dunkin Donuts in the long duration between ordering a gross breakfast sandwich and receiving it. When we made eye contact, I decided to air my grievance at this abhorrent human being. Little did he know he was in for a bout of social justice.

“You know when you pay separately, you’re not really together,” I said to the man. Firm, but non confrontational. I wanted to give the man a chance to right his wrong. Sadly that was not to be.

He looked bewildered at this long haired brightly dressed young chap who called him out on his nonsense. “It’s not a big deal,” he said to me, clearly showing that he has final say on my opinions.

“Well, you ordered a sandwich which takes a couple of minutes to make,” I replied. Pausing for a second, I added, “I could have ordered and left in this amount of time. You sir, are a cutter.”

Those words must have melted into his heart of stone for he did not respond. He walked to the other side of the Dunks, clearly saddened by his bruised ego. His wife stood a few feet away from her, possibly contemplating divorce after witnessing what the public perceives of the man she agreed to unite with in Holy matrimony. We’ll never know.

I got an apology only from the employee, who hadn’t done anything to be sorry for and could not speak for the man, who declined to voice a further opinion of his actions. She and I have joked about the incident several times since. It’s good that laughter could come out of tragedy for I will never get those minutes back. I only hope that when I’m old and on my deathbed, thoughts of bacon, egg, and cheese’s are far from my mind.

I suppose the question you might ask is, was it worth it? Was the man right in saying it wasn’t a big deal? Should I have kept quiet with regards to the injustice?

The answers to those are yes, no, and no.

I feel great about the whole thing. That probably wouldn’t have been the case if I had just tweeted about it. The man did something wrong and now he knows that it didn’t go unnoticed. If the whole world were this vigilant, there would be far fewer things to complain about. Catharsis was achieved. Maybe that man changed his ways or maybe he was kicked out his house. Let’s hope he doesn’t cut again.

If you see something, say something.

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Monday

27

October 2014

0

COMMENTS

Thoughts on George R. R. Martin’s 92Y World of Ice and Fire Talk

Written by , Posted in Blog, Game of Thrones

Last night I attended a talk regarding The World of Ice and Fire with George R. R. Martin at the 92Y in NYC. The event was crowded, though not sold out, and Martin supplied an evening of observations concerning the world of Westeros and the kind of work that goes into creating a book like this. For this article, I wanted to highlight some of the parts of the event that stood out.

Martin was quick to distance the moderator’s suggestion that The World of Ice and Fire was his answer to Tolkien’s The Silmarillion, reminding the audience that the GRRMillion is still to come. Instead, Martin compared TWOIAF to the numerous illustrated fantasy series that have come before. He also discussed the process that went into making a book like this, crediting Elio Garcia and Linda Antonsson with the initial rough draft before deadlines at years of delay and excessive word counts clouded the picture.

Martin also talked about the difficulties he found when it came to revealing certain parts of the history that haven’t been covered in the books or the novellas. Summerhall was specifically singled out as an event he wanted to save for a future book and orchestrated a careful dodging of the event. He did say that both Garcia and his editors persuaded him to include more new material than he initially intended.

While there was no mention of The Winds of Winter, the notion that there will be seven or eight Tales of Dunk & Egg was reaffirmed. D&E actually got a surprising number of mentions, including an illustration of Ser Duncan the Tall fighting as a member of the Kingsguard. The GRRMillion was also talked about many times, though it appears to be at this point largely theoretical.

Mentions of Game of Thrones were kept to a minimum. At one point, the moderator suggested that this was intentional. Martin was complimentary of the show’s decision, including the placing of the Eeyrie’s moon door in the floor rather than the wall. The show served as a contrast to the artwork of TWOIAF, which was able to capture Martin’s own vision in a way that television simply cannot realistically achieve.

All in all, it was an enjoyable evening that supplied more information than was to be expected from that type of event. Questions like “who is your favorite character” were excluded and the general tone didn’t shy away from spoilers though there were few to be had. Martin is a living legend and it was a treat to see him in person.

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