Ian Thomas Malone

A Connecticut Yogi in King Joffrey's Court

Monthly Archive: July 2017

Monday

31

July 2017

0

COMMENTS

Game of Thrones Season 7 Recap: Episode 3

Written by , Posted in Blog, Game of Thrones

Jon and Dany’s first meeting has been one of the most anticipated moments of the series. It isn’t really one of those scenarios that can “deliver” on the hype, as we can’t really expect anything major to happen immediately on the beaches of Dragonstone. Some table setting was certainly in order.

It’s almost as if season two never happened. Davos mentioned being on opposite sides of the Battle of the Blackwater, but not that Tyrion’s wildfire killed his son (multiple sons in the books). You may have forgotten that Davos even had a son, or that Varys once explained to Tyrion that he’s not a huge fan of the Lord of Light. While the Spider wasn’t exactly warm to Melisandre, he didn’t try to pick her brain either. At least the show mentioned Tyrion’s marriage to Sansa!

Also, how is Melisandre going to get to Volantis? Varys’ magic boat? Does Westerosi Uber pick up from Dragonstone?

Varys does know that Ned knew about Robert’s assassination attempt on Dany. He threatened to resign as Hand over it. I doubt this will come up later, and I don’t see what it would change, but worth mentioning.

Marriage used to be a very helpful tool in sealing alliances. While Targaryens are known for marrying each other, Dany is the last of the line. Logic would tell us that the next best suitor would be head of one of the Seven Kingdoms. Of those, two are basically extinct (Baratheon, Tully), two and a half are already allied with her cause (Tyrell, Martell, half of Greyjoy), and one and a half are surefire enemies (Lannister, the other half of Greyjoy). That leaves us with Jon and everyone’s favorite forgotten lord, Sweetrobin of House Arryn, whose troops are sort of allied with Jon.

No one suggested that Dany propose a marriage pact with Jon, her only viable suitor who isn’t a sickly young boy. I get that some people might think it’s gross because Dany is Jon’s aunt, but they don’t know that. Targaryens also don’t really care about incest (certainly not the only ones in Westeros). That would be a really simple fix to everyone’s problems. But no. That would require logic.

The rest of their meeting was fine and all. It was nice to see Tyrion and Jon interacting again. I don’t expect that the two would get married immediately, or even at all. It seems quite irresponsible of Tyrion, Davos, and Varys to not even float the idea around.

Also, Davos’ speech endorsing Jon was great and all, but paled in comparison to Davos’ legendary Stannis speech in Braavos back in season four.

Ellaria Sand is a problematic character. She’s had very limited screen time, creating few opportunities to endear her to the audience. She’s killed Doran Martell, Areo Hotah, and Myrcella Baratheon in cold blood. She is boring. Why should anyone care what Cersei does to this horrible character?

Cersei’s one redeeming quality, at least in the books, has always been her genuine love of her children. Cruel Cersei was mostly on display this episode in killed Tyene Sand, but why is the viewer supposed to care? The show never gave us a reason to. One can look at outside morality to judge Cersei, but we’re in the realm of fiction. The story is supposed to do that kind of work. The Sand Snakes have consistently been the worst part of the series since their introduction. I cannot be upset with Cersei for ridding the world of them.

But I can mention once again how stupid it is that Qyburn is Hand. Moving on.

Jaime doesn’t like Euron. Cersei may not either. The whole Jaime/Cersei romance has been a mess for a while now, even without the Brianne subplot. Their scene was okay and all, but kind of unnecessary in an otherwise eventful episode.

Reek is alive, and not on Gendry’s boat. I wish the show would just kill him. He’s definitely the Smeagol/Gollum of this show and that’s definitely not a compliment.

Sansa is a better leader than Jon. Funny, since she should be Queen of the North, especially since Bran/Yoda doesn’t want it. Littlefinger seemed quite interested when the new Maester mentioned how Maester Luwin kept copies of all the raven scrolls. I expect this could come up later on.

I guess Bran coming back was a big deal. The show played cutesy with the reunion, as Arya seemed to be the likely returning prodigal Stark. I still miss Hodor too much to care about Bran and his weird shit. Reminds me of a college freshman who comes home for break acting like a hipster. We get it. You think you know everything.

Jorah is cured of a highly contagious/deadly disease and no one cares! We still don’t know why this poor character had to suffer through it at all. I guess Joer Mormont only told Sam to tell Jorah to take the black in the books, which makes his greyscale even more pointless and stupid. Though this means we don’t have to keep pondering about it anymore! I’ll miss asking that question.

I’m getting a little tired of these mini battles at the end of the episodes. The show doesn’t have the budget for weekly extravagant sequences, but two episodes in a row of these deus ex machina power changes is a bit much. House Tyrell is supposed to have the biggest army. Their decision to side with the Lannisters won the War of the Five Kings. They’ve participated in no major military conflicts since then, so logic would dictate that they should still have a pretty big army.

But no, apparently not. The show attempted to explain this sudden charge in authority by having Randyll Tarly defect to the Lannisters, but it’s still lazy writing. The Tyrells are more powerful than just one bannerman. Olenna’s death might have been compelling television, but it made little sense within the context of the story.

This is the problem with the season six finale. Dany had a ridiculously large army with the Tyrells, Martells, Greyjoys, Dothraki, and Unsullied. It was too big to make anyone else besides the White Walkers look like formidable foes. Now for some reason, she has a smaller army. Why? Obviously the show doesn’t have much time left, but that doesn’t mean logic needs to be tossed out the window like a child who saw Jaime and Cersei making love.

This episode once again suffered from trying to tackle too many plotlines in one episode. The show needs to do a better job allotting screen time to characters who will be affected by the final scenes. Too many cooks in the kitchen is never a good thing, especially when Hot Pie doesn’t even appear in the episode.

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Monday

24

July 2017

0

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Recap: Episode 2

Written by , Posted in Blog, Game of Thrones, Pop Culture

This episode was a strange one. Sam picked pus riddled greyscale off of Ser Jorah and Grey Worm had sex with Missandei, two things I hardly expected season seven to deliver. As if that wasn’t enough fun for one episode, Reek abandoned ship to board a piece of driftwood, presumably to find Gendry after an action sequence that came out of nowhere at the tail end of the episode.

Pacing was my main concern heading into the season. It doesn’t seem like there’s many more episodes left, but the characters do have to do something to pass the time before the big ice zombie battle. For Daenerys, this involves making baffling military decisions and bizarre back and forths about power with an overzealous intelligence expert, who once tried to have her killed.

Dany’s massive army creates problems for the show’s pacing. She has more troops than everyone combined, even if the Ironborn/Dorne were wiped out and Randyll Tarly ended up siding with the Lannisters. That is how powerful the Unsullied/Dothraki/Dragons are (and how much of a mess everyone else’s army is in). Tyrion telling her not to use them sort of makes sense on paper, if you don’t give it a second look. Why would the people of Westeros prefer to be conquered by siege rather than dragons? Why would care about foreign troops when Cersei is their self-appointed queen? Probably to save the show’s budget. Dragons are expensive to show on screen.

The ship battle was brief, most likely in an attempt to cut costs since the players were people we’re hardly given a reason to care about. The Sand Snakes have never made any sense and the viewer has never really been given a reason to care about them. The same sort of logic applies to Yara, whose major redeeming quality seems to be that those around her tend to be less interesting. This is kind of problematic when you factor in Euron, who’s at least charming and fun to watch. I wish they’d just kill Reek. He’s horrible.

Tyrion is married to Sansa. Just thought I’d remind everyone of that. The show appears to have forgotten, even though Melisandre had plenty of time to bring up the Prince that was Promised prophecy that’s been pretty ignored in the show (though Maester Aemon brings up the gender issue in the books). This episode had a couple throwbacks to earlier times, but seems to not care about a pretty big one.

Omitting their marriage is lazy writing, just like another Jon/Sansa debate in a public setting. Haven’t these people ever heard of a conference room? Jon even mentioned it last episode, as if anyone cares. It could have been a substantive debate too. After all, Dany is Jon’s aunt, whose father murdered Jon and Sansa’s grandfather and uncle. Dany’s Hand is also Sansa’s husband, which makes him Jon’s half brother-in-law based on information currently available to the characters. The characters may not know about Jon and Dany being related through R+L = J, but the web is still pretty tangled even without that detail. It would have been nice to see the show really try to dive into that.

Jon is an ungrateful brat. Stannis saved him back in season four and Jon repaid him by mercy killing Mance Rayder and trying to get him to leave the Wall. Littlefinger saves him from Ramsay and he tells him he can’t tour the crypts of Winterfell and attacks him. Rude.

Also, are we really supposed to believe the two most powerful people in Winterfell haven’t had a proper chat until one of them brings up his love for the other’s sister/cousin and sort of motherly figure who never really liked him? What exactly is the Vale army doing? Where is Sweetrobin? Why hasn’t he made anyone fly yet?

Why isn’t Lyanna Mormont in charge of tactical?

The show’s new pacing logic means that a raven sent from Dragonstone now reaches Winterfell in a single scene. The bird must have traveled over on Varys’ magic boat. I wonder how much money he makes from moonlighting as a mailman?

Looks like Qyburn, not Jaime, is Cersei’s hand. Neither are particularly good choices given that one is the Queen’s brother/lover and the other is a mad scientist. You know who would have been a good pick? Randyll Tarly, who was actually floated as a choice by Kevan Lannister in A Feast for Crows. Offering him that post would’ve been a brilliant tactical move, and Qyburn hardly needs the job to keep doing weird things. But that would make sense. The show doesn’t seem to be a big fan of making sense these days.

For those of you who started reading these recaps last week or have forgotten, the “why does Jorah have greyscale?” question has been a running joke since he contracted the disease back in season five. I had a few people message me about that. Jon Connington got greyscale from the stone men in the books. He isn’t in the show. I’m not sure why someone else had to contract his infectious skin disease instead. Alas.

The Samwell/Jorah plotline is clearly headed toward Jorah joining the Night’s Watch, fulfilling Joer Mormont’s dying wish to Sam back at Craster’s Keep. Unlike the Tyrion/Sansa omission, I liked how the show didn’t bring this one up yet. Something for the fans to chew on! Sure could’ve done without that gross scene. Jorah has suffered enough. Please just kill him and Reek.

Arya and Hot Pie’s reunion was fun, even though Arya is pretty scary these days. I’m glad we got some answers as to how much information Arya knew. Given the current pacing, she could have arrived in Winterfell the very next scene!

Part of the reason this episode felt kind of uneven was that all the major characters appeared, crunching down on available screen time. Arya’s brief reunion with Nymeria was a perfect place to end the episode, given the magnitude of the event. But I guess now we get to spend the week wondering where Reek will float off to. How exciting!

That’s it for this week. Thanks for reading. Be sure to catch my live recap show on my author page that airs at 10:15 EST following the episode.

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Monday

17

July 2017

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Recap: Episode 1

Written by , Posted in Blog, Game of Thrones, Pop Culture

If Tyrion is Daenerys’ Hand and Jaime is Cersei’s, who is Jon’s? As I much as I love Davos, I hope it’s Lyanna Mormont. Way better than her greyscaled riddled uncle.

This episode was more concerned with setting the table than supplying an appetizer. No death, no resurrection. It did contain an event that some fans have been waiting for since 1996, which was given a minimalistic touch that’s perhaps fitting given how much time has passed since Viserys spoke of Westeros to Dany all those years ago. The whole scene was also overshadowed by the massive amount of suspension of disbelief required to accept the idea that Stannis Baratheon (still haven’t seen a body) would leave Dragonstone completely unguarded for anyone to visit, without even having to buy admission (or a souvenir at the gift shop). It will still be a very enjoyable scene.

Jon’s emphasis on dragonglass points to a future alliance with Dany, as Dragonstone has large reserves of Dragonglass. Stannis had urged Dragonstone castellan Ser Rolland Storm to begin mining for it in A Dance With Dragons and I imagine we’ll see something similar in the show. There is a more pressing alliance that Jon needs to fortify before he journey south however.

A conflict between Jon and Sansa is inevitable given the power structure. Sansa is the rightful heir of Winterfell. Jon isn’t. I’m not quite sure who in the show is actually aware of this teensy little minor detail, but it’s bound to create some drama down the road, especially since Littlefinger is no fan of Jon. The whole public debate over the Karstarks and the Umbers (who don’t betray the Starks in the books) seemed odd, but set Jon apart from Ned and Robb.

It is important to remember just how bad Ned and Robb were at political strategy. Good men, yes. Good leaders, not by a long shot. Jon now finds himself with lots of enemies, including a bunch of ice zombies. Best not to forget where things previously went wrong.

Eastwatch-by-the-sea was prominently featured in this episode. As one of only three active castles manned by the Night’s Watch out of nineteen, this wouldn’t normally be surprising, except the Night’s Watch doesn’t currently include a ton of important characters. Bran and Meera are currently at Castle Black. You’d think Tormund and the Brotherhood Without Banners would head there rather than a castle with no significant characters. I suppose the new three-eyed raven could journey there as well. I doubt we’ll see any clashes with the White Walkers until the end of the season at the earliest, which allows plenty of time for characters to move around (especially if they borrow Varys’ magic boat).

The King’s Landing dynamic went about as well as you’d expect it to. Cersei has no heirs and a fairly meager army. An alliance with Euron makes sense just as one of them betraying the other also makes sense.

The problem is that Dragonstone is really close to King’s Landing. I don’t know how much the show cares about this detail, but Dany is literally right there, with by far the largest army. Cersei and Euron could be completely wiped out next episode and it would make sense from a geographical standpoint. I assume Euron is going to impede that progress somehow, maybe by attacking Tyrion, but prolonging a siege of King’s Landing doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

I’ve been wondering about how much Arya knows about what’s going on in the North. If she knows Jon and Sansa are alive, it would make much more sense for her to head there rather than King’s Landing. Also, why didn’t Ed Sheeran play “Shape of You” in the opening scene? Talk about wasted opportunities…

Why does Jorah have Greyscale? Yes, we’re still asking that.

Maesters can’t have families. Brothers of the Night’s Watch can’t have families. Samwell is at the bottom of the maester trainee totem pole yet he gets a suite for Gilly and baby Sam. Utterly ridiculous. I know rules don’t matter, but it might be nice if someone at least pretended they did.

The scenes with the Hound, Thoros of Myr, and Beric Dondarrion ended up being my favorite of the episode. As someone who was against the Hound’s return last year, this surprised me. I’m glad the show isn’t doing Lady Stoneheart, which allows the BWB to actually look like it cares about the realm. I was pretty surprised that the group is still on the show, but it’s working out fairly well.

This episode probably wasn’t as exciting as many would have hoped given the long wait, but I found it to be quite satisfying. The table is set for the remaining twelve episodes and the episode covered all the necessary bases, except for why Sam gets a honeymoon suite at the Citadel or why Jorah is locked away with a contagious disease. Some may regard these as minor details, especially when there are broader concerns, like how Stannis will react when he sees people staying in his castle. Hopefully we’ll cover that next week!

Bit of a scheduling note. My live recap show airs at 10:15 EST right after the episode on my author page. Written recaps follow on Monday mornings. Thanks for reading!

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Wednesday

12

July 2017

0

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Game of Thrones Season 7 Preview

Written by , Posted in Blog, Game of Thrones

It feels like a decade has passed since television’s worst kept secret regarding the fate of a certain Northern bastard was revealed. Those of you who followed along with my season six reviews know that I wasn’t a big fan of the finale, or with the frequent lapses in logic that culminated in Jon and Cersei taking their thrones, for reasons that still escape me. A month after the season usually ends, we find ourselves ready to journey to Westeros once again!

The fact that there’s only thirteen episodes left of the series makes me more inclined to forgive the show for deploying the “everybody dies” trope to clear up the King’s Landing quagmire. Screen time is always an issue for shows with ensemble casts, giving Game of Thrones’ high death count an added purpose. It may not have always made sense, but trimming down the cast in season six was a smart move as the show heads into the home stretch. Now screen time appears to be far less of an issue, especially with the recent reports that all six of the season eight (next season) episodes will have feature length runtimes.

The objectives of season seven remain somewhat unclear, with only seven episodes and a much more condensed power dynamic. The show has two remaining major arcs to cover, the power struggle for the iron throne itself and the greater battle against the White Walkers. I doubt either of these will be fully wrapped up in this season.

Four main power centers remain in Daenerys, Jon, Cersei, and Euron. From the looks of the trailers, it appears as though Daenerys will land somewhere in the Stormlands/Iron Islands. This also follows the (f)Aegon trajectory A Dance with Dragons, where his troops landed in Storm’s End to begin their campaign. Euron is really the only expendable major player left on the show. Yara/Reek’s alliance with Dany makes it likely that her army will fight him first, before turning to face Cersei and her Lannister troops.

For the first time in the show’s history, Sansa possesses perhaps the most interesting storyline. We, as fans, can understand why the show would make Jon King in the North as R + L = J was finally revealed, but it’s never made sense from a plot perspective. It should belong to Sansa. This fairly simple concept does not appear to be lost on Littlefinger, though his decision making process has been seriously called into question ever since he decided to marry Sansa to Ramsey. This power struggle should be an interesting arc to follow for at least the first half of the season, though I expect we’ll see the show split the main conflicts this season into Dany/Highgarden/Dorne vs. Euron and North/Vale/maybe Riverlands vs. King’s Landing for this season. Hopefully season six’s breakout star Lyanna Mormont will play a major role this season. The potential Tormund/Brienne of Tarth is also one to watch for, though Tormund may still be stricken with grief over the tragic death of Wun Wun.

Tyrion’s role remains a bit of a mystery. I imagine that a scene with Cersei and Tyrion would be almost as desirable as one with Cersei and Dany (or Jon and Dany), but I could also see the show holding off on Tyrion’s return to King’s Landing until next season. A reunion between Jaime and Tyrion seems more likely. I’d love to see Tyrion play the role of traveling diplomat on Dany’s behalf this season. Political Tyrion is far more interesting than battle strategist Tyrion, though anything’s better than having him waste away in a room with Grey Worm and Missandei.

The presence of Beric Dondarrion and the Brotherhood Without Banners remains a bit of a mystery. I incorrectly thought that their return signaled that the show was going to bring in Lady Stoneheart. It seems more likely that Arya will be involved with them somehow, given that we last left her old friend Walder Frey in the Riverlands. Her old direwolf Nymeria, who continues to reek havoc in the Riverlands in the books, could also make a reappearance. A conflict between the forces in the Riverlands and King’s Landing seems likely to happen this season, which could allow the long anticipated “Cleganebowl” battle (one of my least favorite fan theories) between Gregor and Sandor to happen.

I don’t expect Bran or the White Walkers to make much of an impact this season. That goes for Samwell in Oldtown as well, though I wouldn’t put it past the show to advance in such a manner that allowed him to complete his maester training. After all, this is the same show that has Varys traveling back and forth between Westeros and Essos about 15 times in a single episode. I’d be happier if the show just killed Samwell off, but I doubt that will happen.

The one character that really puzzles me is Daario Naharis. The last we saw of him was in Meereen, where Dany left him to rule. I highly doubt we’ll see Dany return to Meereen, unless she takes Varys’ magic boat, but it’s also highly unlikely that we’ve seen the last of him. His return could be held until season eight given how much Dany has to do in Westeros.

I imagine this season will largely focus on setting up Dany as a/the major player in Westeros while setting the stage for the final season. Season six took care of a lot of the smaller power conflicts that had been brewing over the past few seasons. This season should probably be more concerned with preparing for the end than with killing off major characters. Cersei seems like the most likely major character to die this season, but I have a hard time believing the show would want to kill her off before the final season. Thirteen episodes may not feel like a lot of time left, but the show will want to save much of its long anticipated action for the home stretch.

Programming note: my weekly live recap show will return this season, broadcast from my Facebook author page. Like last year, we’ll aim to start at 10:15 EST, but that will change if some episodes run longer than an hour. Be sure to follow my Facebook and Twitter accounts to keep up to date. Written recaps will follow on Mondays. Thanks for reading! Looking forward to watching along with all of you this season.

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Wednesday

5

July 2017

1

COMMENTS

About That Footnote

Written by , Posted in Blog, Social Issues

If you picked up a copy of my latest book, June: A Month in Characters, you may have noticed a footnote where I revealed that I am a transgender woman for the first time, at least in publicly available writing. The idea that this sort of news is not typically addressed via footnote led me to pen this article as well, addressing said “announcement.” I’ve been in the process of transitioning for about a year now so I’m hardly an expert on the subject, but that’s kind of what transitioning is supposed to mean.

Coming out has always been a strange concept for me. The truth is, I am out. Many people here in California know this detail of my life. There are plenty of people who don’t know I’m transgender, either on social media or my native East Coast, but I resisted the urge to make a “I’m transgender” post for a few reasons.

The whole coming out to friends and family conversation is horrible and I hate having it. Not because it’s negative, but rather because it’s awkward and fairly monotonous. You’re guaranteed to get a few of the following responses:

“I’m so proud of you.”

“I’m so happy you can be yourself.”

“You must feel so relieved.”

“Thank you for confiding in me.”

“I’m honored that you felt comfortable telling me.”

Often followed by various awkward questions. Granted, these are things people are supposed to say, are sweet and supportive comments to say to someone going through a major change, and are way better than, “I now hate you, we can’t be friends anymore because you’re mentally ill,” but those two outcomes weren’t my only options. I’m a huge fan of the third option, where the conversation doesn’t happen at all and I get to go about my day not having discussions about my gender identity. I appreciate the support and all the kind words, but it’s a less daunting journey than you’d imagine. At least compared to the arduous task of keeping up the façade.

I refused to accept the idea that not explicitly mentioning my gender identity on social media mattered. Such an idea gave the whole concept of social media way more power than I felt comfortable giving it. What matters is how I feel about it. I feel great. It’s not as if I posted trying to “act male,” whatever that means.

There are plenty of people close to me who will find out this news for the first time via this post. If you haven’t noticed, I’m not a huge fan of that conversation and I’d grown pretty tired of having it. I’d apologize, but that also means you didn’t find out from the book which probably means you didn’t buy it. Shame on you!

I chose a footnote because it innocuously got it out there, on the record. It’s done. The footnote and this blog post are the so-called “big reveal.” Ian Thomas Malone is a she, and also keeping her birth name. I’ve grown attached to it over the years. Plus, people have told me time and time again that it’s a great author name. Never, it’s a great male author name. I understand that this is pretty guaranteed to cause confusion down the road, but I’m happy to explain when the time comes. That’s what words are for.

Which isn’t to say that there aren’t plenty of things I wouldn’t change about this rollout. I waited longer than I would have liked to write this post if I could go back and do it all over again. Months ago I made the decision to wait until I started HRT, which I began in May. That proved problematic due to some unfortunate doctor’s visits and the sad state of the American healthcare system, but that finally happened and all is well.

It seems silly, almost painfully obvious, to suggest that my career and my gender identity are two separate things or that transitioning isn’t a process that occupies my thoughts 100% of the time. There have been plenty of days where I’ve wondered if anyone would care about my work after the news dropped, with that tidbit of my life instantly becoming the singular notable detail of my existence. I’m proud of who I am, but the idea of being labeled as the “trans author,” or really any labels for that matter. I’m sure Mark Hamill loved playing Luke Skywalker, but didn’t appreciate the typecasting that inevitably followed.

That’s about all I have to say on this topic for now. I wanted to avoid some kind of “big announcement,” complete with new Facebook pictures and a complete scrubbing of my former self because that’s not how life works. I don’t have all the answers yet, but this journey has taught me a lot more than I’d be able to explain in a single blog post. I suppose that’s why we have these things called books.

Until then, here’s a picture. Enjoy it, because that’s hopefully the last time I wear heels.

 

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